The last 15 years have been a rollercoaster of positive achievements and devastating negative events that have tested my resilience and character more than I ever imagined. The following life events inform the CliftonStrengths insights below:
- April 2009 – Attended a Tony Robbins event, blew my mind, was hospitalised for five days, and subsequently diagnosed with bipolar
- 2010-2013 – off and on periods of depression and some very dark moments in my life
- 2010 – 2017 – rich career experience as Senior Consultant for Gallup in New Zealand
- 2017 – 2022 – established and grew my strengths-based coaching and mentoring practice (ChrisopherMIller.co.nz)
- June 2020 – my wife collapsed at home and was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumour
- July 2021 – following two brain surgeries and radiation therapy, my wife and best friend passed away
- July 2021 – September 2022 – deep grief and slow recovery from the loss of my wife
- July 2022 – published The Joy of Finding FISH – a journey of fulfilment, inspiration, success, and happiness
My Top 15
In reverse order, these are my dominant CliftonStrengths, and how each has contributed to surviving and sometimes thriving in a life well lived.
15) Relator
My inner circle of friends and family have supported me through thick and thin. Each person has played a unique role, and the trust in our relationship has meant that I received the right spirit and energy throughout my journey.
14) Strategic
Whether navigating my bipolar condition or helping my wife navigate her options when faced with brain cancer, this theme was often on overdrive, desperately trying to find a solution to a problem that was impossible to solve.
13) Communication
Kept family and friends fully informed through Fiona’s illness and passing; remained deeply connected to her and my family through regular conversations.
12) Self-Assurance
Profound certainty that I am strong enough to survive this, no matter how bad it gets.
11) Belief
With a #1 value of family and a core purpose of being a great Dad, loving husband, and an extraordinary coach, was put to the test, especially in the last two years. My survival depended on my connection to purpose, and my role as a father in the aftermath of losing my wife kept me going, even on the worst days.
10) Intellection
I found writing a book enriching and therapeutic, especially given that I wrote the first eight chapters before my wife’s passing and the last five chapters a few months after she died. The rigour of writing and editing a book during the most challenging years of my life was a real stretch of intellect.
9) Includer
Made every effort to include everyone touched by Fiona to participate in a Celebration of Life in September 2022, following several delays due to Covid.
8) Individualisation
Every person who came into my life during this period brought something completely different, according to their unique strengths and talent. Sometimes I needed a shoulder to cry on, sometimes a sounding board, and sometimes a client who still saw value in my services. I am struck by the sheer variety of wonderful people who supported me during this time.
7) Activator
Take action, any action to keep making progress.
6) Positivity
Remain optimistic and find hope, even on the darkest days
5) Woo
Stay connected to a vast community of supporters and cheerleaders; you never know whose help you might need along the way.
4) Input
Build a library of resources (www.christophermiller.co.nz/resources) that serve as tools to not only help my clients but to help myself when I need inspiration most.
3) Connectedness
After much contemplation, there are big, powerful reasons for having spent 24 years with Fiona and subsequently losing her. I cannot see the higher purpose for her loss (yet), but I am deeply grateful for every moment I spent with her.
2) Learner
Have studied the inputs and outputs associated with living a bipolar life. I have an intimate understanding of the safety net I have built for myself, including medication, good sleep practices, exercise, fresh air, and appropriate levels of intellectual stimulation.
1) Maximiser
Through grief, catastrophe, achievement, and experience, Maximiser takes each day as it comes and aims to build constant and never-ending improvement into everything I do. One slight improvement can make all the difference when life is at its worst.
