Kia Ora,

Welcome to the first edition of Heart-Centred Insights, whose intention is to offer stories and practical tools lifting love in our personal and professional lives. The content below summarises my personal journey and experience of love over the last 27 years, and gives some of the context as to why I am investing in Expansive.Love at this stage of my life. Given the current state of society and the planet, I can’t think of anything the world needs more than love.

I have experienced love as Mutual Seduction:

• • I met my life partner and some might say soulmate on the dance floor of a Glasgow night club on a night in July 1997; we spoke for hours over the loud music, cheek to cheek; two weekends later I visited Fiona Lindsey Kirkwood in Edinburgh and the rest is history.

I have experienced love as A Deep Promise:

• • When I proposed to Fiona on New Year’s Eve 1999, on the esplanade of Edinburgh Castle, as Fiona’s favourite band Texas, led by her hero Sharlene Spiteri to the song ‘Once in a Lifetime’.

I have experienced love as An Adventure:

• • Beautiful memories of our wedding day at St Giles Cathedral and Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh on 24th February 2001 – Fiona coming through the Cathedral doors surrounded by snow, like in a snow globe; watching her do a cartwheel in her wedding dress on the dance floor; having outlasted our wedding guests at 3am, with tumblers of whisky, reminiscing about the day that was, and dreaming about our future together.

I have experienced love as Earth-Shattering Fear:

• • On the day my eldest son Cameron was born in Glasgow in December 2003, my wife’s pregnancy was very painful and not progressing well. My scariest moment was when a health professional pulled me aside and said, ‘the baby is in distress, and your wife is at risk’. Life stopped in that moment. Fiona was rushed to an emergency C-section, Cameron was born happy and healthy, Fiona recovered very well. To this day, Cameron is the most resilient human being I know, and I still remember the song that was playing on the radio in the delivery room.

I have experienced love as Joy and Humour:

• • On the day my youngest Ross was born in Wellington in December 2008, we weren’t taking any chances and had a planned C-section. Everything went to plan so much so that Ross was born on 22nd December and Fiona and Ross were home by Christmas Day! The most hilarious moment of the day Ross was born was I phoned Cameron as the first person I wanted to tell about Ross’ birth. He was at the zoo with my parents waiting for our call. On receiving the call – mishandling of the phone almost resulted in the phone falling down a drain at the Zoo, which would have resulted in no news shared and a whole lot of stress for my parents!

I have experienced love as UNCONDITIONAL:

• • Fiona was the ultimate role model for unconditional love. She always loved and supported me and the boys equally and fairly and was exceptional at seeing the best versions of ourselves without putting any pressure on us to live up to her expectations or standards. She did that with everyone. It is how I will always remember her.

I have experienced love as Sacred:

• • Following 23 years of bliss together, living in Scotland and New Zealand, two amazing sons, swimming teacher, PhD graduate, family lawyer, lawyer for child, Safeguarder, wonderful friend, wife and mother, my wife Fiona was diagnosed with a glioblastoma (brain cancer) in June 2020 and following two brain surgeries and radiation therapy, she passed away on 25th July 2021. The most sacred moment of my life so far, was holding Fiona’s hand in the presence of my sons, at Mary Potter Hospice in Wellington when she took her last breath. I was never meant to be anywhere else.

I have experienced love as Completely Absent:

• • In the 16-month aftermath of losing Fiona, I had no Purpose, there was no love. I functioned like a robot, one day at a time. I was in despair and never thought love would return.

I have experienced love as My Identity:

• • Following a professional development conference in October 2023, my FISH philosophy (fulfilment, inspiration, success, and happiness) took a fundamental shift when I realised that FISH is HOW we live life, but the WHY in our lives is nearly always LOVE. It took me months to deconstruct and process all of this, but at 2:30am on Wednesday 6th March 2024, my big word changed from COURAGE to LOVE, and my future positioning was crystal clear. Luckily along the way, Fiona had given me the gifts of a loss of fear of risk, fear of death, fear of failure and most importantly fear of judgement. This gave me the courage to embrace LOVE as my new Why and my new positioning.

I have experienced love as a New Hope:

• • On 1st of July 2024, I gathered with some of my favourite people to celebrate and launch my next book (which captures my love of strengths, love of entrepreneurship) AND my Let’s Talk Love Card Deck, whose purpose is to inspire meaningful conversations about fulfilment, inspiration, success, and happiness to feel more love. While all of this creates a new and hopeful future for me and my practice, somewhere along the way and most importantly, I found the courage and capacity to know that I can fall in love again, and that gives me no end of hope. The rest, I leave for Destiny.

My intention is to lift love exponentially on the planet at this time by creating practical tools to measure and expand love for individuals, couples, families, teams, organisations and communities. Expansive.Love launches on 1st August 2024.

Arohanui,

Christopher